First and Second Date, Communication and Your Safety

No matter if you are a man or a woman there are some general rules we would like to give you. In these articles, we assume that you’ve met someone on a dating site, just like ours. We also think that you have taken the necessary steps on that very site as we have covered before.

When you are going on a first date with someone there are some things to remember:

• Call or contact the person and decide what you should do on your first date.

While some people want it to be a surprise others like to decide together with the person they will be dating. Ask the person when you first meet, no matter if it’s on a video chat or in a text chat how that person wants it to be. Here is a book that we highly recommend you to buy if you are out of ideas.

• Wear something that you had when you took the picture on the site.

By doing this you will be easily identified by the person you are about to date. The other person should also do it. Both of you will then be able to identify each other in a crowd.

Be sure to put on proper clothing as well as your best behavior. Ok, the last thing isn’t clothing but it is very important.

• Meet at a public place.

No matter if it is in a game of any sport, a restaurant, a bar, a café or somewhere else we always recommend that the two of you should meet at a public place. Be polite and smile to your date.

• Tell one of your closest friends.

Tell someone that really knows you and that you trust that you are going on a date with someone. Try to get some contact information from that person.

Then you’ll need to verify it. If you live in the U.S. there are services that can provide you with the information you need both online and offline. Of course doing it the old fashioned style with phone numbers are always a good way to do it too.

In the rest of the world, we recommend that you are exchanging phone numbers and then check out so that phone number is real. This you can do in any country either by looking it up in the phone book or by a similar service online.

You can even ask the person to sit a few tables away from you and your date if you are being on a date. This is something we have shared in the FAQs of our website. This is a free service that you always are welcome to read at any time.

It is always nice to have a chaperon as well as safe but we recommend that the chaperone will be a few tables or so away from you, to give you a bit of privacy but also to make you feel safe.

• Communicate! Talk! Listen!

This is the most important thing on any date. You have to talk to each other. Don’t talk yourself the entire time, listen to the other person too.

There are some general topics of course that you can talk about: the current weather, what you do for a living, which Church you go to, how you found Christ and so on.

These are just examples of topics that may start a conversation. We think that you know where to start and what you would like to talk about with the other person as well. Be as honest as possible with the other person.

• Leave the date separately.

After a while, you should leave the date and go home. Then it is vital to remember that you should go to your place and the other person should go to his or her home too. Don’t go inside each other’s home on the first date.

If your date wants to follow you home, decline gently. You can even make up an excuse like “Well that would be nice but I will see some of my friends now so I’m not going straight home. Maybe you can do it the next time.”

A WORD OF ADVICE: IF YOU DO NOT LIKE HOW THE PERSON BEHAVES ON THE DATE MAKE UP AN EXCUSE AND LEAVE THE PERSON IN THE PUBLIC PLACE.

• Ask yourself how the date went.

Was it a good date or a bad one?

If it was a good date you might want to see that person again. If not you probably want to meet that person again.

• If you are a man you might ask yourself: When should I call her?

Now, this is a very normal question to ask and there are no general ideas. We recommend that you wait one or two days after the first date to call the person. Tell him or her how you thought that the date was and then listen to how the other person perceived it.

• If you are a woman you might ask yourself: Why hasn’t he called me yet? Did I do something wrong?

The answer to your first question is to wait and if you haven’t heard from the person in a week then you might call and ask if the person is OK and why he didn’t call you.

Maybe he lost interest in you or maybe he has been so busy so that he didn’t have the time to call you.

The answer to your second question is: Probably not. Maybe the guy just is too shy or maybe you were. Try, to be honest with yourself and learn from your mistakes.

A general idea is to go on as many dates as possible and learn from the mistakes you make. Because you will make mistakes, no matter if you are a man or a woman and no matter how experienced you are.

• Decide a time and place for the second date

If both of you agreed that the first date went well and you both want to see each other again, then it’s great! Decide where you want to go. On a second date, you can even meet each other at the other person’s home and maybe cook something together or do something fun.

The second date can be in a private home but we strongly recommend that you wait until at least the third date to do so. There are only some minor differences why we won’t talk so much about the second date as we did above concerning the first one.

Now you don’t need a chaperon so you can go on a more private, intimate place with your date. When you split up it would be ok to let him follow you to your front door but not to let him inside your home.

Our next blog post will be about minor changes that we have done to our website.

It will be available on this blog on October the 22nd 2014.