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Today, I will discuss how dating a narcissist changes you.
I have discussed the signs of a narcissist in the past, so I won’t repeat what I discussed in that article here.
Most dating sites never discuss this because they never focus on these matters.
In general, dating blogs focus on things that will help you find love.
They never discuss how the people you are dating are affecting you and your way of thinking in the long run.
I don’t know any other dating blog who is discussing mental illnesses and how people who are narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths use dating apps and sites to find the next victim as this blog does.
The reason why I discuss these things are two:
- I am interested in these topics
- I do feel that a lot of singles want to know about these topics and that this is an undersaturated part of dating
In this article, I will focus on how dating a narcissist changes you and in the next two articles, I will focus on how people who suffer from anxiety and depression can find someone to love.
This is just as important as discussing how the people you are dating changes your thoughts and expectations of who you are dating.
A relationship with a narcissist will only give you heartbreak.
When most people think of a narcissist, they think of a person who is boastful, and arrogant or all about themselves.
However, there is so much more to this personality than this.
The narcissist will:
- Never acknowledge his or her psychological disorder
- Drain you of your self-esteem to boost their own
- Out of their touch with their own feelings
- Never admit that he or she has done anything wrong and put all the blame on you or someone else
- Not feel any empathy for others and are unable to understand the feelings of another human being
A narcissist would train you to value to be the best always, just to make you awful and to boost their own self-esteem and self-worth.
Now that you know what a narcissist is, you might be asking yourself:
Why Are People Attracted to Narcissists?
A narcissist is a master manipulator and often presents themselves in a charming, fun, confident, and grandiose manner.
This is, of course, something that attracts a lot of people, right?
They are also impatient and really want to make things happen fast.
A narcissist would not hesitate to move in with you, might talk how much they love you, and buy you a ring, just to convince you that he or she is the love of your life and loves you deeply and profoundly.
Just so that he or she can start to manipulate you and start accusing you of things to lower your self-esteem and make you feel miserable.
Even for things that you can’t help or that aren’t your fault.
Here’s an example: If you want to plan a vacation trip but you can’t go on the day you want, then the narcissist will blame you for it.
It might be oversimplifying but I really wanted you to make my point.
Red Flags When You’re Dating a Narcissist
There are some issues that should make you raise red flags and ask yourself if you might be dating a narcissist.
If you love this person, truth may hurt you in the short-term.
However, in the long-term, you will become a happier and better person.
Look at how they treat other people on your dates, how they talk about other people, and how they treat children.
These might cause you to raise some serious red flags.
Also be on the lookout for intolerant tendencies towards those who have a different culture, religion, gender, political opinion, or race.
Maybe he or she is tolerant to others instead?
Think about how he or she treat others, is he/she kind to other people?
If they are highly critical about other people in general, like their colleagues or exes, that might be a red flag as well.
Ask yourself whether he or she must always be right and win.
If you just answered yes, then you might be dating a narcissist.
Let me also ask you a question that you really need to ask yourself all the time:
How do I feel about this person and how does he/she make me feel about myself when I need to be vulnerable or are in vulnerable situations?
If it isn’t supportive and great, then you might have to stop seeing this person because narcissists will drain you emotionally, mentally, and maybe even financially.
What You Might Experience After Dating a Narcissist
When you have realized that you have been dating a narcissist, you might think less of yourself than you did before.
Of course, if you would ask the narcissist, he or she would
You will probably put the blame on you anyway.
Remember that a narcissist always knows what might be raising red flags in you and will his or her best to cover them up.
This is something you need to be aware of.
Now, I have to tell you that it’s not your fault but that feeling shame and guilt is a perfectly normal emotional response whenever you experience a breakup.
If you also been duped by someone like a narcissist your emotions are worse than any other breakup because you will blame yourself.
This is a perfectly normal human emotional response.
Anyone can be duped by a narcissist, especially if you are a fun, loving, kind, and sensitive person, you can become a victim of a narcissist because the truth is that they prey on these kinds of emotions.
So, what I’m trying to inform you here is that it’s not your fault, you need to put the blame on the right person where the blame truly belongs.
What if I can recognize narcissist personality traits in my own personality?
You should know that all of us have narcissist tendencies to some extent.
For this reason, if you could identify some kind of personality trait inside of yourself or something you have done to your exes in your past relationships, this does not mean that you qualify for being a narcissist.
To do that, you need to be properly diagnosed by an expert.
You won’t be able to self-diagnose yourself right off an article like this one that you happen to find online.
However, chances are that if you’re thinking about that you might be a narcissist yourself, you probably aren’t because if you were, you would probably not think this article would benefit you in any way.
Sources: PsychologyToday, MadameNoir, “7 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist“
Next Article
My next article will be published on the 23rd of March 2019.
It will discuss dating with depression.
Have a good day,
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