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Texting on dating apps can feel like a whole different ball game. Unlike casual chats with friends, your messages here are intended to build attraction, create connection, and eventually lead to that first date. And because it’s a digital space, the subtleties from face-to-face interaction—like tone of voice, facial expressions, or body language—are missing. This is where the art of texting truly comes in and why getting it right can make all the difference.
Your words (and emojis!) must do the heavy lifting on a dating app to make you stand out. Each message should keep the conversation going and show off your personality. Whether using humor, a playful question, or a perfectly timed emoji, knowing how to add charm and flirtation is critical. The challenge? Doing all this in a way that feels natural and doesn’t come across as trying too hard.
Think of texting as the initial “getting to know you” phase, where every message you send helps build a vibe between you and your match. While some might approach texting with the “play it safe” method, aiming to avoid awkwardness, this usually leads to stale, routine conversations. But by stepping up your texting game, you can turn each message into a fun, engaging exchange that leaves your match wanting more.
In this article, we will guide you through the best texting techniques on dating apps—from the opening line to emoji codes for a hint of flirtation. By the end, you’ll be set to navigate conversations with confidence and charm, helping you stand out and build a connection from that very first message.
First Message Strategy: Breaking the Ice with a Great Opener
Starting a conversation on a dating app can feel like a lot of pressure. You want to be memorable without being cheesy, funny without trying too hard, and genuine without oversharing. The good news? Crafting that first message doesn’t need to be complicated. The best openers are usually simple, playful, and tailored to your match.
One of the easiest ways to break the ice is by personalizing your first message. This shows that you’ve taken a moment to read their profile and are genuinely interested. Instead of the generic “Hey, what’s up?” which can come across as uninspired, look for something specific in their profile that you can comment on or ask about. For example, if they mention their love for travel, you could say, “If you could hop on a plane right now to anywhere in the world, where would it be?” This approach sparks curiosity and allows them to share something personal.
When in doubt, humor is always an excellent strategy—if it feels natural. A funny, lighthearted question like, “Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?” might sound random, but it’s unexpected and often gets a smile. The goal is to give your match a chance to react in a fun way that breaks the usual “get to know you” routine.
For a little extra personality, adding an emoji can help set the tone, making your message feel friendly rather than overly formal. For instance, a smile 😊 or wink 😉 can subtly show interest, giving your message an inviting vibe. And if they respond well, you’ll already have set the groundwork for a flirty and engaging conversation.
Mastering the first message might feel tricky at first, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll notice how these little tweaks help kickstart a great connection. With the right opener, you’ll set a positive tone that excites your match to reply and keep the conversation going.
Click here if you want some examples to achieve just that.
Moving from Small Talk to Flirting
Once the conversation rolls, it’s time to take things up a notch and move from friendly small talk to genuine flirting. But this shift needs to feel natural, not forced—like you’re building on the connection you’ve started rather than suddenly changing gears. Flirting is all about adding that spark of interest, a little intrigue, and maybe a hint of playfulness that signals your interest in more than just casual chat.
One way to make this shift is by playing off things your match has already said. For example, if they mention they’re a coffee lover, you could tease them by saying, “So, are you a coffee snob? How serious are we talking here?” This shows you’re paying attention and introduces a playful tone that invites them to respond in kind. Teasing is a classic flirting tool, and when done lightly, it can add a fun, lively vibe to your texts.
Adding a question to your teasing also keeps the conversation going, giving your match a chance to respond with humor or a little flirtiness. Questions like, “So, what’s something fun about you I wouldn’t guess?” or “If we were to grab drinks, what would be your go-to drink to impress me?” are fun, inviting, and keep the conversation open-ended.
This is also a great time to start using emojis to introduce a bit of flirtation. If you compliment them, add a wink 😉 or heart-eyes 😍 emoji for a subtle but clear hint of attraction. Emojis can help soften flirty comments, making them feel light and charming rather than too direct. And if you’re looking for guidance on using emojis to flirt, check out our guide to decoding emoji meanings on dating apps.
As the conversation flows, notice if they’re matching your energy. If they’re responding with humor, teasing you back, or adding emojis, it’s a good sign they’re interested in taking the conversation into flirty territory. Moving from small talk to flirting doesn’t have to be a big jump; it’s about building on the foundation you’ve already laid, with a little extra charm to keep things exciting.
Using Emojis to Create Attraction and Add Personality
Emojis are more than just fun little icons—they’re like a secret ingredient that can add charm and warmth to your texts. Using them strategically can help create attraction, hint at your playful side, and show off a bit of personality. The trick? Keep it balanced so that your emojis enhance the message rather than distract from it.
To start, think of emojis as a way to bring a little tone into your words. For instance, if you send a flirty compliment like “You have the best smile 😏,” that smirk emoji adds a whole new layer of intrigue. It takes the message from a plain compliment to one with a hint of mischief, suggesting you’re more than a little interested. Or, if you’re teasing your match, adding a wink 😉 at the end shows you’re being playful, not serious, and keeps the vibe lighthearted.
Then, some emojis can turn up the flirtation. The heart eyes 😍, for example, is a straightforward way to show attraction, and the fire 🔥 emoji can be a fun way to show they’re “hot” in a lighthearted, not-too-serious way. Just remember to use these sparingly; overloading messages with flirty emojis can make you seem overly intense rather than charming. A well-placed heart eyes or flame emoji adds impact and makes things genuine.
Another great tactic? Emoji combos. For instance, pairing the peach 🍑 with the winky face 😉 or the tongue 👅 with a playful comment can send a bolder signal without going over the top. These emoji codes are like a “secret language” that lets you play with attraction subtly yet effectively. And if you’re new to emoji combos, you can check out our guide to flirty emojis for more ideas on creating the perfect balance.
Using emojis as part of your texting game is a way to add personality and leave a memorable impression. The right emojis can make your match smile, laugh, or blush, making the conversation more enjoyable and engaging. With a little practice, you’ll use emojis to add charm that keeps the conversation flowing naturally and your match interested.
Keeping Her Engaged Between Dates
Once you’ve moved past the initial stages and are both interested, it’s time to keep the momentum going—even when you’re not meeting up in person. This phase is about maintaining a fun, lighthearted connection that keeps her thinking about you and looking forward to your next date. Texting between dates shouldn’t feel like a chore; it should be an easy, enjoyable way to stay on her radar while building anticipation.
A straightforward way to keep her engaged is occasionally referencing moments from your previous date or things she mentioned. For instance, if you talked about favorite foods, send her a quick, “Just saw this amazing taco spot and thought of you 🌮😊” or “Found the perfect coffee place for next time ☕😉.” This shows you’re genuinely interested in her and paying attention and helps create a sense of continuity in your conversation.
Another great way to stay engaged is by sharing small, funny things that remind you of her or inside jokes you’ve created. These moments bring back the good energy from your last date and help create a shared experience, even if you’re not together in person. For example, if you had a joke about lousy movie recommendations, you could send a lighthearted, “Just watched the worst movie ever… you’d hate it 😂.”
Emojis can also come in handy for keeping things fun and casual. A simple heart ❤️, wink 😉, or smile 😊 here and there can keep the tone friendly but warm. Avoid using emojis in every message; keeping them spaced out makes them feel more special and genuine. When you do use emojis, think of them as little “reminders” of your interest that don’t require a long, detailed text. It’s about keeping things fresh without going overboard.
As you text, try to keep the conversation light and cheerful. Avoid delving into serious topics or bringing up anything heavy that could change the vibe. The goal is to keep things fun and easygoing, so your texts are a source of positivity rather than pressure. By focusing on fun, shared moments, and inside jokes, you’re creating a connection that feels effortless.
Click here for some tips on using texting to keep her attracted.
Signs She’s Into You and Ready for the Next Step
Once you’ve been texting consistently, you might wonder whether she’s as interested as you are and if she’s ready to take things a step further. Knowing how to read these signs can help you time that next move just right, whether suggesting a new date or bringing up the idea of exclusivity if things are going well. One clear sign she’s interested is if she keeps the conversation going. If she’s actively engaging, replying promptly, or asking questions about you, it shows she’s invested in learning more and staying connected. When she responds to your messages and adds her own thoughts, stories, or questions, that’s a strong indicator that she enjoys talking to you and wants to keep the connection alive.
Another sign to watch is if she mirrors your flirtation and tone. If you send a playful or flirty message, and she responds with a similar vibe—maybe with a wink 😉, heart eyes 😍, or a cheeky comment of her own—that’s a good indication she’s comfortable and interested in keeping things fun. When she matches your energy, it shows that she’s receptive and on the same page.
You might also notice her initiating conversations or sending “check-in” texts. Little messages like, “How was your day?” or “Just saw something that reminded me of you!” are classic signs she’s thinking about you and wants to stay connected. This kind of effort shows her eagerness to keep the momentum going and that you’re on her mind even when you’re not actively texting.
If she’s ready to take things to the next level, she may even start dropping hints about plans or activities she’d like to do together. For instance, if she mentions a new restaurant she wants to try or an event she’s excited about, that could be her subtle way of opening the door to a new date. When she talks about plans, it’s a sign she’s imagining spending more time with you and is comfortable moving forward.
Knowing these signs can make it much easier to feel confident about suggesting another date or deepening the connection. If she’s giving you these signals, it’s safe to say she’s enjoying getting to know you and is open to what’s next. So, take that step, suggest something fun, and enjoy the journey as you build a great connection.
Conclusion: Putting It All Together
Mastering texting on dating apps is all about striking the right balance. From crafting an engaging first message to building chemistry with playful emojis, each step helps you create a conversation that stands out and keeps her interested. The goal is to be confident yet genuine, keeping things fun while showing that you’re truly interested in getting to know her.
Remember, it all starts with a great opener. A thoughtful or humorous first message sets the tone, making it clear you’re not just another generic “Hey, what’s up?” in her inbox. From there, easing into flirting by building on her responses lets you read her vibe and get a sense of her personality. Using
emojis strategically and mirroring her level of interest, you can add layers to the conversation that make it feel natural and exciting.
Keeping her engaged between dates is about keeping things light and positive. With quick, fun check-ins or little inside jokes, you keep the momentum alive without feeling pressured. And by looking out for signs of her interest, like prompt responses, shared future plans, or flirty emoji combos, you’ll know when it’s time to take things to the next level.
Texting on dating apps is less about following a strict formula and more about staying true to yourself while paying attention to her cues. When you can do that, each message becomes a chance to deepen the connection, build attraction, and ultimately lead to a real-life connection. So keep it light, stay confident, and let your personality shine through.
You’ve got this!
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