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In this blog post, I will give you some advice about the second date.
First of all, I want to congratulate you for heroic achievement. You have been able to ask the lady out for a second date! This is nothing shorter than awesome! Here are a few tips you should remember so that the second date won’t become your last date but many consecutive ones…
What The Second Date Is All About
I think that you have been on many first dates and maybe even many second dates too but if it has been a while, remember that dating is fun! You will learn some intriguing facts about another human being, and he or she will learn similar stuff about you too!
This is what the second, as well as, all the consecutive dates are all about! Getting to know each other better for each date that passes by.
I hope that you had a blast on your first date and that you had a lot to talk about. Continue by picking up on some of the loose ends that you left on the first date or start by talking about her job or her friend etcetera. You should really take charge and talk about everything that matters to you. Both stuff that is relevant for you as well as things you have in common.
What makes a series of dates into a real committed relationship is communication. If it’s not there from the beginning, it probably never will. I can tell you that this is true; I have experienced it myself.
It’s the same thing with women that I’ve talked with all around the World, no matter from which culture they originate from, if we did not communicate well from the beginning, we would not communicate well in the future. I’m pretty down to earth when it comes to communication actually.
I know that this matters, in the long run, not so much in the short run where feelings have the upper hand on both of you!
So this is just a piece of general advice: By talking about everything and anything that comes up on your mind, you will see how things develop. Hopefully, they are going just fine, and your feelings start to become stronger and not weaker for the person you’re dating.
Feelings And Good Looking Vs Intelligence And Integrity
As a wise person once told me: “Feelings and good looks go away while intelligence and integrity never fade”. Sure, we are all shallow when we’re dating.
From the first visit on another member’s profile until we either have gone out with them on several dates or finished with that person. It has rejected him or her totally as a potential life-long partner we are judging a person, not from what he or she might have written on their profile but rather from the picture or video that we have seen.
Do you know that we have made up our opinion about a person in the first 1/10 of a second, just by having a quick look at their picture? However, that is not something that we really should go by since we don’t know a squat about that person before reading his or her profile.
For this reason, I always recommend a good picture taken from a bit away (not a selfie) towards a neutral background with preferably natural lights as a profile picture and that you write something more on your profile than “if you’re interested, don’t hesitate to contact me”.
Now, to return to the topic of this headline: Although we judge a person and thinks we know all about them, just by having a look at a photo, we should rather focus on what they have written and see if that is something that might be a potential life-long love or not.
Intelligence is something that many women do find sexy, and for an excellent reason, these things remain while beauty decays! Men often focus on how a woman looks, the survey of Chi Rho Dating performed in the middle of this month shows.
The same is true with feelings. They are intense at first, but then they fade away. Just as intelligence, humour, faith, integrity, family values and personality remains unchanged through life. For the reason of long-lasting love, these are better to start looking for on dating sites than the mere first impression.
Now I will conclude my series “Dating In Real Life” with some final advice.
Some Final Advice
This is the last blog post in my July-series of dating advice here on Chi Rho Dating. I hope that you have enjoyed reading it just as much as I have fun writing about it. I cannot often share my own personal experience, although that is what I’m always trying to do.
I guess that you either are Christian singles or a single in the broadest sense of the word, someone that has just begun his or her dating experience. Here is my concluding advice:
1. Dating should be fun and not intimidating!
Don’t let anyone intimidate you or threaten you by saying that you should not date that person. YOU should decide this for yourself! It’s your life. It’s your mistakes! Not your neighbours, not your friend and not your family!
2. Focus on what matters to YOU.
Whether it is strong family values, a nice body, a big body, faith/religion, integrity, humour or anything else, please make a list of what matters the most from you and don’t compromise with it!
3. Take some time on taking/selecting a good photo and write a good text for your profile.
These things matter to all singles, so YOU should take some time and don’t settle for the picture or the text about yourself until YOU are completely satisfied with it. You will find some great advice on the FAQ-section of XP Dating.
4. Be honest, the entire time!
It would be best if you were honest, and you have to expect the same from all profiles on the website. This is up to the website owner (or rather: the company that provides the dating service) to handle, all you should think about is finding the first match! Honesty is what builds trust and that, in turn, will be the foundation of every serious relationship. Know what you want and strive for it!
5. Don’t be naive.
The general rule of all online activities is: If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. YOU should be aware of the warning signs when you’re beginning to talk to someone. Earlier there was some great advice on this blog composed earlier this year.
If you’re meeting a person in real life, respect is of the essence!
6. Respect the other person wishes.
When you’re on an actual date, YOU should respect each other’s wishes. Don’t try to force things!
Sure, no one of you is beginners, and no one is inexperienced in the sack, but this does not mean that you should try to force things to make them happen quicker.
Respect is of the essence! Don’t compromise on this! If you get in bed, use protection!
7. Don’t use double standards.
Do not have one standard for yourself to claim moral supremacy over the person you’re dating. This will only make him or she thinks you are a complete jerk! This won’t help change your relationship status. It will only reinforce it!
8. First dates are starting points; you haven’t reached the finish line yet!
First dates are where you begin your dating adventure, not where you end it! This is a crucial fact that everyone has to remember.
Hopefully, many more dates will be followed by the same person, or you will go on another first date with someone else. YOU have the right to be picky. It’s your life and not someone else life that will be affected by the choices YOU make.
If it feels right, have the first kiss then but don’t rush things!
9. Second dates are intended for a continuation.
If you have gone on a first date with someone and followed up with a second one, remember that YOU have not reached the finish line yet!
You still have a long way to go but for now, enjoy your dates with this person, and maybe you will start to have deeper feelings for each other or maybe not. No matter what, go on many more dates, have fun and be honest about everything. Finally, you will get a relationship with someone!
10. Finally: Remember this!
Remember that YOU have to be the best version of yourself on all dates! Women love to be flattered, and giving her compliments will increase your chances to end up in a relationship with her. Be a gentleman, and don’t be a jerk.
I wish you all the best in your future dating adventures!
For your love-success,
Next blog post
My next blog post will be published on Saturday the 1st of August 2015.
It will be about the new book that I will give away for free.
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