What Is Submarining in Dating? Decoding the Behavior That Is Worse Than Ghosting

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In the dynamic world of modern dating, new terms and trends continually emerge, reflecting the complexities and challenges of finding love and connection. “Submarining” is one such term that has entered the dating lexicon, leaving many puzzled about its meaning and implications.

In this comprehensive guide, we’ll delve into “submarining” in dating, provide examples, and explore why this behavior can be captivating and frustrating.

We’ll also offer insights to help you navigate the trend of “submarining” in the modern dating landscape.

Defining “Submarining” in Dating

“Submarining” in dating is a behavior where someone who has previously ghosted or abruptly ended communication with a romantic interest suddenly resurfaces in their life. Similar to a submarine that disappears underwater and resurfaces later, a “submariner” reenters the dating scene or rekindles a connection after an extended period of silence.

Examples of “Submarining” Behavior

1. Reappearance: A person who has submarined may send a message or initiate contact with someone they previously stopped communicating with, often without explanation or closure.
2. Apology or Explanation: They may offer an apology or an explanation for their previous disappearance, citing reasons such as personal issues or circumstances.
3. Interest Rekindled: “Submariners” often express renewed interest in the person they ghosted, indicating a desire to continue or restart the connection.

In this article, I discuss the importance of sharing common interests to build stronger relationships.

Why “Submarining” Can Be Good Sometimes and Bad Other Times

The Good:

1. Closure and Resolution: “Submarining” can offer closure and resolution to both parties involved. It allows for conversations that may address unresolved issues and feelings.
2. Second Chances: It allows individuals to give the relationship or connection a second chance, especially if the initial ghosting was due to misunderstandings or external factors.

For more insights on the healing power of forgiveness, please click here to read my article which offers a more in-depth explanation.

The Bad:

1. Emotional Turmoil: “Submarining” can lead to emotional turmoil, especially for the person who experienced the initial ghosting. It may rekindle feelings of confusion and betrayal.
2. Trust Issues: For some, “submarining” can erode trust. The sudden reappearance may make it challenging to trust the intentions and consistency of the “submariner.”
3. Uncertain Motives: Deciphering the true motives of the “submariner” can be difficult. Are they genuinely interested or simply seeking convenience? This uncertainty can lead to frustration and doubt.

Navigating “Submarining” in Dating

To navigate “submarining” effectively in your dating life, consider the following steps:

1. Open Communication: If a “submariner” reenters your life, engage in open and honest communication. Address any lingering questions or concerns, and express your own feelings and expectations.
2. Reflect on Feelings: Take time to reflect on how the “submarining” experience affects your emotions and well-being. If it leads to emotional turmoil or uncertainty, consider your boundaries and whether continuing the connection is in your best interest.
3. Set Expectations: Clearly define your expectations and boundaries if you choose to continue or restart the connection. Ensure both parties are on the same page regarding the relationship’s nature and future.
4. Self-Care: Prioritize self-care throughout the “submarining” experience. Focus on your emotional well-being and personal growth, irrespective of the relationship’s outcome.

What Does “Submarining” Mean?

“Submarining” in modern dating is a behavior that can stir a mix of emotions and challenges, particularly for those who experienced the initial ghosting.

Understanding its implications and navigating this behavior with open communication and self-awareness can help individuals make the most of this trend in the modern dating landscape. By setting clear expectations and prioritizing self-care, you can approach “submarining” with a balanced and healthy perspective.

To your success,

Rickard