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Dating Red Flags: 7 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist
In the past, I have discussed some other red flags that you should look out for as well as the tell-tale signs of a psychopath and a sociopath.
If you haven’t read these articles already, I highly recommend that you do it.
Today, I will continue the discussion of the dating red flags by sharing 7 signs that reveal whether your date is a narcissist or not.
These are my best tips for men and women alike.
However, I need to put in a disclaimer here: Only a trained psychologist or psychiatrist can make the proper diagnosis.
I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist myself.
This article is only for information purposes and shall not be used as a tool to make a diagnosis of any living person.
Narcissists try to isolate you from your friends and family.
They like the feeling of controlling another human being and enjoys the power it makes them feel about their victim.
There is even some speculation that narcissism might be a part of the autistic spectrum due to the lack of empathy that narcissists often displays.
The term narcissism comes from the Greek myth of Narcissus who falls in love with his own mirror image.
The tell-tale signs of a narcissist are:
- Shamelessness. A narcissist has no real feelings of shame.
- Arrogance. A narcissist is arrogant and thinks highly of themselves.
- Perfection. The narcissist is perfect and everybody else is wrong.
- Envy. A narcissist is jealous. He or she also tries to push your boundaries while keeping their own unchanged.
- Exploitation. A narcissist likes to exploit others, especially when it joins the narcissist’s own purposes and goals. He or she will have no problem to exploit others as long as he or she gains something and benefits from it. This is what I discussed at the beginning of this article.
- Fragile egos. There is no one who has a more fragile ego than a narcissist. When things aren’t going their way they can burst out in anger. It is never the narcissist’s own fault when something goes wrong, it’s always somebody else’s.
- Bragging and over-exaggerating their own achievements. Just as fragile egos this is a tell-tale sign of a narcissist.
Sources: Wikipedia and Signs of Narcissism in a Partner (Vain Valentine).
Now that you know 7 tell-tale signs you’re dating a narcissist, you need to understand how you can break this destructive behavior of yours.
As always you should not hurt this person’s ego or feelings. This is even more important when you find out that you are dating a narcissist since the relationship can take a turn for the worst if you do.
This is even more important when you find out that you are dating a narcissist since the relationship can take a turn for the worst if you do.
For this reason, I will continue this article by discussing how to end a relationship with a narcissist and then discuss how to stop dating a narcissist.
How to End a Relationship with a Narcissist
One of the most important things is to withstand when the narcissists try to limit your contact with friends and family.
There are many things you can do today to stop this from happening to you.
One of the most obvious ones is to get a different phone number or start a new account on social media that you do not tell your date about.
For this reason, I highly recommend that you use a separate account for your contacts with any person you meet on a dating site or even IRL until you get to know this person better.
You need to have an escape plan.
Just tell your friends and family about your new account but also instruct them not to tell your boy- or girlfriend about your new account.
By doing so, you are avoiding to get completely cut off by the narcissist and when he or she thinks that they have succeeded you can use that to get help from someone who trusts you to escape.
Because you need to escape from the narcissist.
The best part is that you can delete your old accounts on social media, block the person if you can’t delete your account and still have a good relationship with your friends and family.
It is always good to have a close confidant to rely on because breakups are tough.
Narcissists typically try to break you down to leverage themselves.
By getting help from outside of your relationship, you can get encouragement, support, and positivity which are all “antidotes” to the harmful influence that a narcissist may have on your self-esteem.
Remember that they think they are perfect while everybody else is an idiot.
You might also benefit from gaining professional advice from a psychologist or psychiatrist.
If I were in a romantic relationship with a narcissist I would do so immediately.
You can google after local professionals by using the browsers Incognito/InPrivate or Private-mode. If you do this it doesn’t track what you have googled.
IMPORTANT: Close the Private/InPrivate/Incognito-tab once you’re done.
Since narcissists are jealous by nature, the person can’t track what you have googled or even if he or she are looking through your phone, there won’t be any traces of what you have googled.
Because this is how jealous persons behave and envy and arrogance are the two traits that you can play against someone who is a narcissist.
Since he or she is jealous, the person checks your phone but is probably too arrogant to think that you’re not as “technical” or “smart” as that person since you are not them, right?
That’s the reason why I am sharing these tips with you, to help you escape the claws of any narcissist you may encounter in real life.
I am not doing this to brag, just to help and it’s also 100% free.
Isn’t that the best part of it anyway?
I really hope that you find this article helpful.
How to Stop Dating a Narcissist
Now, I have come to the final part of this article and this paragraph is shorter for a very simple reason.
When you’re dating someone, you’re not as deeply involved as when you’re in a relationship and maybe living together with a narcissist.
That was the reason why I wanted to discuss this first.
If you are noticing any of the 7 red flags that I have listed above, you should stop dating this person immediately.
You can use the old excuse for breakups: “It’s not you, it’s me.”
By blaming yourself you are effectively dodging any risks of anger outburst from the person you are dating.
You also help to maintain the narcissist’s self-image of being perfect and without any kind of error whatsoever. After all, since you’re taking the blame, the self-image is preserved and remain intact.
Now, narcissism is a rare diagnosis but there are people who suffer from it.
They might not even realize it or maybe they do and that is even worse.
A narcissist typically makes you feel special at the beginning of your dating before he or she begins to break you down, slowly but systematically, piece by piece.
Narcissists focus on the best qualities of you in a shallow and superficial way.
At the beginning of a relationship as well as on dates, you are always focusing on the other person’s best qualities which fuel the narcissist’s arrogance and feelings of perfection.
It is after this positive feedback stops that the narcissist will begin to break you down.
If you start to recognize these disturbing patterns, even if there is only a slight similarity, I strongly advise that you seek professional counseling.
I recommend that you also read the middle section of this article unless you already have because I have shared some actionable and hopefully valuable tips with you that I hope are useful to you.
As always, if you have found this article helpful, please don’t hesitate to share it.
You are always welcome to share any articles on social media.
For most articles there is at least one prewritten tweet that you may use just like this one:
[Tweet “7 Tell-Tale Signs That You Are Dating a Narcissist #DatingTips #DatingAdvice”]
Next Article
My next article will be published on the 4th of July, 2018.
It will discuss the ONE THING you need to do to get out of the “friend zone”.
Have a nice week,
Rickard
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