We are a professional review company that receives compensation from companies whose products we review. We test each product thoroughly and give high marks only to the ones that are the very best. We are independently owned, and the opinions expressed here are our own.
The dating advice community online is filled with myths and misconceptions that abound. Let’s delve into ten commonly held beliefs and examine what research and real-world experiences reveal.
1. “Men only want sex, not relationships.”
The Myth: Men are primarily driven by physical desires and lack interest in emotional connections.
The Reality: Research indicates that many men seek deep emotional bonds. For instance, studies have shown that men often express love earlier in relationships and place a higher value on emotional intimacy.
Cultural Insight: In Nordic countries, emotional expression among men is more normalized, challenging traditional stereotypes.
2. “If he really wanted you, he’d chase you.”
The Myth: Genuine interest is consistently demonstrated through persistent pursuit.
The Reality: Modern dating dynamics have undergone significant evolution. Factors such as fear of rejection and changing social norms influence how individuals express their interest in others. Source: Vogue
Cultural Insight: In countries like Sweden and the Netherlands, direct pursuit is often perceived as aggressive, whereas subtle interest is more appreciated.
3. “Women only like bad boys.”
The Myth: Women are inherently attracted to men who treat them poorly.
The Reality: Studies suggest that confidence and authenticity are more attractive traits. The allure of the so-called “bad boy” often stems from perceived self-assuredness rather than negative behavior.
What I’ve Said Previously: The idea that women always fall for emotionally unavailable ‘bad boys’ is a trap—one I’ve explored in-depth before on this blog.
4. “Monogamy isn’t natural.”
The Myth: Humans are not biologically wired for monogamous relationships.
The Reality: Anthropological research indicates that while humans have the capacity for multiple relationship structures, monogamy is a standard and successful model in many societies.
5. “If you have to work on it, it’s not real love.”
The Myth: True love should be effortless.
The Reality: All relationships require effort and communication. Dr. John Gottman’s research emphasizes the importance of building shared meaning and navigating conflicts constructively. Source: Gottman Institute.
Discussion: People with more introverted or nurturing personalities—such as ISFJs—often show love through effort and consistency, a topic I have previously discussed.
6. “Men lose more than women in marriage.”
The Myth: Marriage disadvantages men more than women.
The Reality: While divorce can have financial implications for men, marriage often provides emotional and health benefits. Conversely, women may face challenges related to emotional labor and societal expectations.
7. “You can manifest your soulmate with the right energy.”
The Myth: Positive thinking alone will attract the perfect partner.
The Reality: While mindset is important, active participation in social activities and personal growth are crucial in forming meaningful relationships.
Discussion: Can you find your soulmate just by thinking about them? Doesn’t it sound like magical thinking, or at least wishful thinking? I have discussed this in numerous articles, primarily when I was affiliated with products in the law of attraction niche. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
8. “Women win in dating—until they don’t.”
The Myth: Women have the upper hand in dating until a certain age.
The Reality: Dating success varies from person to person. Factors such as confidence, life experience, and clarity of personal goals play significant roles, regardless of age.
Discussion: I previously discussed how to turn small talk into pickup lines in one of my reviews, which can be found here.
9. “Most men aren’t attractive enough for modern women.”
The Myth: The majority of men don’t meet women’s standards.
The Reality: Attractiveness encompasses more than physical appearance. Traits like emotional intelligence, humor, and authenticity are highly valued.
Discussion: I have discussed this topic in my article, “You are not undateable,” which debunks the myth associated with an old TV show, but it is still worth reading.
Remember that dating success isn’t reserved for a ‘top 10% of men’—I’ve written before about why nobody is truly undateable, and how improving mindset and communication often beats looks alone.
10. “If he doesn’t pay on the first date, he’s not a real man.”
The Myth: A man’s worth is tied to his willingness to pay. This myth ties masculinity to financial dominance—a topic I’ll expand on further in upcoming posts. Stay tuned.
The Reality: Cultural norms vary. In many European countries, splitting the bill is common and doesn’t diminish a man’s masculinity.
Discussion: I have written a blog post named “Who pays for the first date?” previously on this blog, and I am inviting you to read that as well and join the conversation.
FAQ
Are most men really only interested in sex and not relationships?
No. Studies show many men, especially over 30, are seeking emotional intimacy and long-term connections, not just sex.
Is it true that if someone likes you, they’ll always chase you?
Not necessarily. Fear of rejection and changing dating norms often prevent people from pursuing directly, even if they’re interested.
Do women really prefer bad boys over nice guys?
Research shows that women are drawn to confidence and self-assurance, rather than cruelty. “Bad boys” often project emotional independence, which is usually perceived as attractive. Learn more in this article about the “bad boy trap” and what makes someone beautiful.
Is monogamy unnatural for humans?
It depends on cultural and personal values. While humans have the capacity for multiple relationship styles, social monogamy is common and works well for many.
Shouldn’t love be easy if it’s real?
All relationships require effort. Research shows that even healthy couples argue and need to work on communication and trust actively.
Do men lose more than women in marriage?
It depends on the context. Men often gain emotional and health benefits from marriage, while divorce may have heavier financial consequences for them.
Can I manifest my dream partner just by thinking positively?
Positive thinking helps, but action matters more. Building habits, meeting people, and improving yourself are key to attracting love.
Do women have the upper hand in dating until they reach a certain age?
Dating isn’t a game. Success in relationships depends more on clarity, self-awareness, and emotional readiness than age alone.
Is it true that most men aren’t attractive enough for women today?
No. While dating apps can skew perceptions, real-world dating prioritizes authenticity, humor, and connection over physical appearance.
Is a man less masculine if he doesn’t pay on the first date?
Not at all. In many cultures, especially in Europe, splitting the bill is considered normal and viewed as respectful, rather than a sign of weakness or unmanliness. It is something I have discussed in my article, “Who pays for the first date?“
🔗 Further Reading (Courtesy of The Gottman Institute)
For more insights into building healthy relationships:
- 3 Research-Based Tips for a Happy and Healthy Relationship
- Create Shared Meaning
- The Secret to a Meaningful Life is Meaningful Relationships
🎥 Watch the Full Video
For a deeper dive into these topics, check out the full video here: [Insert YouTube Video Link]
Whether I nailed it or not—I’ll leave that up to you.
I’ve also linked to some related articles I’ve written on this blog over the years. Some are still just as relevant today, especially if you’re serious about understanding modern dating on a deeper level.
💬 Got a different take? Think I missed something? Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments below.
What do you think about the article you've just read? Please tell me below.