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Introduction

In this blog post, I will discuss the best method to approach someone you’ve just met and what you don’t need to ask them so you can put all your undivided attention to what you actually should ask someone you’ve just met on an online dating website.

I want to apologize before I begin for the length of this article but since there is much to cover, it had to be that long. So, let’s begin…

The Best Method Of Approaching On Dating Websites

I have myself found it quite easy to always approach different female profiles by not just sending them a simple flirt/wink. This is what I like to define as the indirect approach and this is what you should do a lot of but when it comes to approaching someone this is not the best way.

I prefer what I like to define as the direct approach. Basically sending out a “Hi, how r u?” in the local chat room or a direct message/instant message is more of a direct approach than not doing it.

However you should not do this to the first one you see is online, compare the biographical information in the profile with your list first and then send a quick message to any profile that has ticked some of the boxes (at least 4 out of 10) and start chatting.

The absolutely best way to start and the most direct approach to anyone on an online dating website is, of course, the video chat. That is the second question you should ask them; “Are you able to video chat right now?”.

This is very much a hands-on approach, I know but still, I would like to remind you about the interesting fact that most people that fail on different dating websites do so because they don’t do this step and try the direct approach on dating websites.

If you find someone that is not directly online but still ticks at least 4 of the 10 boxes, send an email, since this is the second best option but maybe not as direct as a direct message, an instant chat or a video chat. The indirect approach on dating websites is also a good one but it’s actually less likely that someone responds to your invitations.

The absolutely worst kind of indirect approach on dating websites is flirts or winks. I write that it’s the worst kind since people are less likely to respond to someone anonymous that is winking or flirting with them. This is what I myself has found out.

I once calculated that 5% or less of the women I winked at on one particular dating website responded with a wink back.

Then, of course, there were some women that winked at me that I didn’t have the slightest interest in and if it’s true for me then that also explains why 95% didn’t flirt back. I am just sharing my personal experience with you here.

My absolutely best approach, according to my personal experience and that has worked very well for me, is when I have been using direct messages or chatting with different women all across the globe.

The absolute best way of approaching people is by far the video chat. It is harder to ignore someone you are talking to face-to-face than some anonymous screen name that sent you an anonymous email. This is basic psychology.

A Method Of Balancing The Indirect Approach With The Direct Approach

As with everything is in life, you should keep a balance between the indirect approach and the direct approach. I am thinking about a 55-45 percent in favor of the direct approach.

When you are doing this, you should always go on quality and not on quantity. Remember that dating is like a marathon, it’s not something quick and everything you do, you should do sincerely and let it run its course.

The truth is that while the 55-45 percent worked well for me, I have seen others being successful with 60-40 and even 70-30 and for others, the opposite correlation (03-70) has actually worked. You have to try it out for yourself and see which mix works out the best for you. It’s like coffee, not everyone likes the same blend or brand.

With this being said, I wish you the best in your quest to get a date for Valentine’s day.

Take Caution When You Use Dating Websites or Online Dating Apps

It is important to be aware of the benefits, as well as, the dangers of using online dating apps.

Even if there are scammers, catfishes, and other criminals that use these dating apps, many companies are actively closing downs their accounts.

One of the benefits, and also one of the dangers is anonymity.

For a balanced approach, and discussion, make sure you read the article that I link to below.

Y Zhou, Canadian Journal of Family and Youth (2023), “The Benefits and Dangers of Online Dating Apps.” https://journals.library.ualberta.ca/cjfy/index.php/cjfy/article/view/29872.

Next blog post

My next blog post will be published on Saturday the 23rd of January 2016.

It will be about how you should ask someone out on a date.

See you then,
Rickard