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In this article, I will cover a very interesting topic: Relationship rules for men and women.
It is interesting since your own moral and ethics about relationships comes into play as well as your views on sex before marriage, whether you have double standards for men and women and so on.
No matter where you stand politically, you can be both liberal as well as conservative about these matters.
Whether you like democrats, republicans, socialists, or others don’t matter.
Because you will very soon realize that at some point all of us have double standards, no matter how we define ourselves politically, philosophically, religiously, and ethnically.
Let me share a few examples of what might form you and both your own family’s, as well as the society you grew up in, will influence you here.
You may have had a tough time growing up as a teen or not.
You may want the same relationship rules that your parents had or you may have denounced them as old fashioned and outright unmodern.
Whether you are a man or a woman also matters.
What I am about to share with you now might be controversial:
Maybe you have more conservative rules than your parents did and you would still view yourself as a liberal or vice versa.
Your relationship rules are just as much a reflection of your upbringing, your society, your friends, your own previous experience with relationships, as you are.
I have shared a lot about things that influence your relationship rules but what exactly are they?
Here is my definition…
What Are Relationship Rules
Relationship rules are something we all have and as I discussed above, we are all influenced by our views.
Apart from having some ground rules, you will also have some that are interchangeable and that varies between the different romantic relationships you will have as an adult.
Here are a few relationship rules that always will be useful to you:
- Think about the other person and what you can do to make the person love you, even more, to help the love for each other deepen.
- Never schedule sex. Even if you have a busy life, scheduling sex will just make it boring and a chore like cleaning.
- Love the other person unconditionally or at least try to. We all make mistakes and we all have flaws, so remember to forgive the other person as much as humanly possible.
- Give each other some space and try to give each other enough room to do different things apart from each other. Set clear boundaries for when it is “me”-time and when you will have “we”-time as a couple.
- Honesty is another key but white lies are okay sometimes, especially if it will help you avoid the other person’s feelings.
- Date each other even if you have been together as a couple for ages. This will increase the love between the two of you.
- Celebrate different milestones as soon as often. Anniversaries, holidays, and birthdays come every now and then but use them to create memories and a history together that will be “the story of us”.
These are just 7 examples of good and healthy relationship rules that will help your relationship and the love between you grow and avoid it from withering away to a point of no return where a breakup is inevitable.
You may also benefit from reading my 5 relationship recovery tips that I shared in a recent article.
I have one more relationship rule for you to share right now:
Do whatever works because no two relationships are the same and what works in one relationship does not necessarily work in another one.
Be grateful, be trustful to the one you love, even if your gut or your friends tell you otherwise, and focus on building trust every single day to keep your relationship strong and healthy.
How to Set Relationship Rules
The best way to set relationship rules as well as defining some ground rules and boundaries is by talking to each other.
Have I ever told you that communication is key in all relationships?
If your philosophy about relationships is different from the one you love, either one of you has to change.
How to set relationship rules is best defined by finding common ground.
These are matters of the heart and touches on your core beliefs about what it is to be a man or a woman.
In these matters, I really can’t give you any advice.
Because the truth is that this is something that you and your loved one need to discuss and agree on.
As I also mentioned above, all relationships are different.
If you fail, chances are, unfortunately pretty high that your relationship will end in disaster.
How Relationship Rules Are Different Between Men and Women
You might have different standards for men and women.
It is okay. Most of us do this without ever giving much thought about it.
We do have one set of standards for boys and men and yet another standard for girls and women.
The reason is that our society, parents, and upbringing have “told” us this.
So, we are treating boys and girls as well as men and women differently unconsciously, mostly out of concern for the weaker person who we believe needs to be protected from the stronger person, don’t we?
In some cases, this is, however true while in other cases it is false.
Nothing makes us more aware of our double standards than when it comes to issues of sexual morality and ethics.
I know that some readers might think that religious books are to blame for this and for those who are having such limiting beliefs I do have a special treat that I will reveal in bold text below.
In most modern societies, a man who sleeps with different women is hailed as a hero while a woman is called a lot of different names.
Especially around his circle of male friends.
The most interesting part, however, is when you look into who it is that are giving her these names.
It is always women who seem to have issues with this.
However, there is a source that looks at such behaviour as unmanly and does not look at this kind of behaviour in a favourable way: The Holy Bible.
The reason is that these men are considered weak because they are giving in to the lust of the flesh.
With this being printed, it is now time to look into typical relationship rules.
Typical Relationship Rules for Men
These are some typical relationship rules for men who are in a relationship with a woman:
| Bad Boys Rules | Good Guys Rules |
| Lie and betray her as much as possible | Always be honest and be decent to her |
| Sleep with other women and keep her away from me if she complains about it | Stick to the one you love, cherish and honour her |
| If she doesn’t want to do anything, you need to convince her or show her what she really wants even if it is against her own will | Never force her to do anything against her will and do not harm her in any way |
| It is not my problem that she is considered to be a slut among her friends | Understand her background and never do things that will make her look bad, especially not among her friends |
| If she has problems, she has to fix them herself. I can easily get another one without her issues. | I want to help her out as much as possible to show her that I care for her and want to show this, so she realizes that I am true to my word |
| When I’m tired of her, I can easily dump her and get another girl | Sticks and stones may break my bones but I will be there for her, for better and for worse, no matter what happens |
| I have my life and she has her life, they don’t mix. As a matter of fact, she wants me to treat her like crap. That’s what girls want! | I will always treat her with respect and allow her to grow as an individual. After all, girls like good guys. |
It is okay if you didn’t agree with every single one of them.
I don’t and yet I have written the entire article myself but I wanted to share some controversial relationship rules for men with you too.
Of course, I have really used the opposite arguments and you will probably sympathize with one or the other mostly or you might be a bit of a mix between the two, either way, is fine.
Any likeness with living or dead people is purely coincidental, although I have met both kinds of men myself.
I will now discuss typical relationship rules for women as well.
Typical Relationship Rules for Women
What now follows are how relationship rules vary between the two types of women, which are here represented by “Wendy” and “Mary”:
| Wendy’s Relationship Rules | Mary’s Relationship Rules |
| Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I can’t do what I want. I have the same rights as men to sleep with whomever I want and as often as I want it. | I truly believe in true love and for this reason, I would rather wait for Mr Right before I have sex with him. |
| If he doesn’t like something about me, he can go to h*ll. I will never change anything about myself for a man | I want him to like me for the person I am and love me |
| I can do whatever I want, it is a free country and besides men and women are equal in all aspects | I need to think about my reputation and what other people think about me and my family. I don’t want to be disrespectful to my family. |
| Others may look at me like I’m a slut but that’s okay. It’s cool to be a bit controversial, isn’t it? | I want him to cherish me, fight for me, and view me as the prized possession that he had “won” the right to love |
| I don’t need a man to be complete. I am fine by myself and love has nothing to do with sex anyway. It’s only biological. | We will make each other complete and sex is a deep emotional thing and we need to have a deep emotional connection. |
You might be a mix between the two.
In some scenarios, you might have agreed more with Wendy or Mary to a greater extent than the other one.
I just want you to challenge you and your ideas.
They are, of course, the extreme counterparts of each other but let me tell you that I have met both kinds of women and also many women that are a mix between the two.
However, both Wendy and Mary are creatures of my imagination. Any likeness with living or dead people is purely coincidental.
Next Article
My next article will be published on the 7th of September 2019.
It will discuss how women can get back with their ex-boyfriends.
Have a great day,
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