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Introduction
In this blog post, I will discuss the best method to approach someone you’ve just met and what you don’t need to ask them, so you can put all your undivided attention on what you actually should ask someone you’ve just met on an online dating website.
I want to apologize in advance for the length of this article, but since there is much to cover, it had to be this long. So, let’s begin…
The Best Method Of Approaching Dating Websites
I have found it quite easy to always approach different female profiles by not just sending them a simple flirt/wink. This is what I like to call the indirect approach, and you should do this a lot, but when it comes to approaching someone, this is not the best way.
I prefer what I call the direct approach. Basically, sending a “Hi, how are you?” in the local chat room or a direct message/instant message is a more direct approach than not doing it.
However you should not do this to the first one you see is online, compare the biographical information in the profile with your list first and then send a quick message to any profile that has ticked some of the boxes (at least 4 out of 10) and start chatting.
The absolutely best way to start, and the most direct approach, for anyone on an online dating website is, of course, video chat. That is the second question you should ask them: “Are you able to video chat right now?”
This is very much a hands-on approach, I know, but I would still like to remind you of the interesting fact that most people who fail on dating websites do so because they don’t take this step and try the direct approach.
If you find someone who is not directly online but still ticks at least 4 of the 10 boxes, send an email, since this is the second-best option, but maybe not as direct as a direct message, an instant chat, or a video chat. The indirect approach on dating websites is also a good one, but it’s less likely that someone will respond to your invitations.
The absolutely worst kind of indirect approach on dating websites is flirts or winks. I write that it’s the worst kind, since people are less likely to respond to someone who’s anonymous, winking or flirting with them. This is what I have found out myself.
I once calculated that 5% or fewer of the women I winked at on one particular dating website winked back.
Then, of course, there were some women who winked at me that I didn’t have the slightest interest in, and if it’s true for me, then that also explains why 95% didn’t flirt back. I am just sharing my personal experience with you here.
My absolutely best approach, according to my personal experience, and one that has worked very well for me, is to use direct messages or chat with different women all across the globe.
The absolute best way to approach people is, by far, video chat. It is harder to ignore someone you are talking to face-to-face than someone with an anonymous screen name who sent you an anonymous email. This is basic psychology.
A Method Of Balancing The Indirect Approach With The Direct Approach
As with everything in life, you should strike a balance between the indirect and direct approaches. I am thinking about a 55-45 percent in favor of the direct approach.
When you are doing this, you should always prioritize quality over quantity. Remember that dating is like a marathon; it’s not something quick, and everything you do should be sincere, and let it run its course.
The truth is that while the 55-45 percent worked well for me, I have seen others being successful with 60-40 and even 70-30, and for others, the opposite correlation (30-70) has actually worked. You have to try it out for yourself and see which mix works out the best for you. It’s like coffee; not everyone likes the same blend or brand.
With this being said, I wish you the best in your quest to get a date for Valentine’s Day.
Take Caution When You Use Dating Websites or Online Dating Apps
It is important to be aware of both the benefits and the dangers of using online dating apps.
Even as scammers, catfishers, and other criminals use these dating apps, many companies are actively closing accounts.
One of the benefits, and also one of the dangers, is anonymity.
For a balanced approach and discussion, make sure you read the article that I linked to below.
Y Zhou, Canadian Journal of Family and Youth (2023), “The Benefits and Dangers of Online Dating Apps.”
Have You Missed the Other Parts of This Series?
This is a part of my “How to get a date for Valentine’s Day” series. I have shared all the steps you need to take to get a date for this special day.
If you’ve missed the other articles, here’s the complete list:
Why Do We Celebrate Valentine’s Day?
How To Get A Date For Valentine’s Day: Finding Your Motivation
How To Get A Date For Valentine’s Day: How To Only Select The Best Profiles
How To Get A Date For Valentine’s Day: The Importance of Critical Viewing Online
How To Get A Date For Valentine’s Day: How To Avoid The Friend Zone
How To Get A Date For Valentine’s Day: 3 Things You Can Do To Impress Your Date
How to Get a Date For Valentine’s Day: Last Minute Dating Tips
See you then,
Rickard
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