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In this blog post, I will write more about the mindset you need to have to be successful when you’re dating online. All advice is of course as general as they can be since I don’t know you.
First of all, let me ask you: Is there such a thing as a blueprint for online dating success? The answer to this question is undoubtedly a big YES!
Second of all, I would also like to ask you:
Is there really one way to guarantee you online dating success?
Before I continue: This is one of the longest blog posts filled with great dating advice and probably the longest I’ve ever written, so take your time!
Without telling you too much about it, I will only reveal that if you think that you will not succeed, then I am afraid that online dating is not for you. Please read more below…
Online Dating Is Connected To The Real World
Online dating is where most people meet the love of their life in the modern world.
No matter who you are, where you live or what you do, chances are that you will meet your new love online.
In many countries, especially in the part commonly spoken of as the “Western” civilization, there was a social stigma in the 1990s and the early 2000s for couples that have met online.
Gradually this stigma has vanished and today it is socially acceptable to introduce someone and answer the question: “Where did you meet?” with “On an online dating site”.
With this being said, I would like to comfort you and tell you that you are not an alone, awkward or strange person.
These thoughts might have crossed your mind.
I know, I always used to think: How hard can it be to meet a woman/man? Trust me, it can be very hard when you’re looking at the wrong places!
I will tell you straight up:
The reason that you have failed to find love so far is the simple fact that you haven’t got the proper network for dating.
That’s right — you actually need a network or a very good friend that will introduce you to someone.
Luckily for you is the simple fact that you have made up your mind and are ready to take the plunge into the water but before you can do this, you need to dip your toes to feel if it’s warm or not!
You know what, let me write this: You should date and have the time of your life! Do you know why?
Because: You deserve it, you owe it to yourself!
So if you are a bit shy like I used to be, then you need to overcome your shyness first.
It is ok for both men and women to be shy but if you need to be successful in the adventure and meeting people online, you need to become the best version of yourself ever!
How do you achieve it?
It’s quite simple, actually!
Start talking with people who have the same gender you want to date but people who already are in a committed relationship or even married.
Age doesn’t matter either! Talk about everything that you can possibly talk about.
I was in luck there since most of the people I work with are women, so for me, it was fairly easy to start doing this. Colleagues or even close friends can actually be great for helping you overcome your shyness.
You need to do this first before you sign up for a membership on any kind of dating site. Free or paid doesn’t matter really since you still will be loosing the most precious thing of all if you feel insecure: Time!
Time is something that is scarce in the modern world.
For this reason, signing up for an online dating service is probably the most reasonable decision you can ever make in your entire life!
What really changed things around for me was:
- My friends successfully found their new loves on different dating sites. So I thought: If they can do it, why can’t I? You know what, it turned out that I can get dates by using everything that I have been taught and what I know about women. This is the mindset you need to have!
- Dating is not just a numbers game, it’s also a game of self-confidence. If you lack this for any reason what so ever, you will be unsuccessful. My blueprint (below) will give you some tips on how you can boost your self-confidence, starting today.
- Online dating is connected to the real world since you are a real person, living a real life and are hoping to find some real love. You will also meet people you’ve never met before. In person, not just on an online dating site! This is important!
The Online Dating Success Blueprint
Did you really think I was going to reveal it here?
If you have read my blog for quite some time now, you’ll know that I am an honest guy that always keep my word so the answer will, of course, be: Yes!
If you’re shy, you’ll need to take the necessary steps to overcome your shyness.
I have written a review of an ebook that claims to help you with this but I have also given you some free tips on how to get into the right mindset before you begin dating.
Talking with people is the best way to overcome shyness.
Start with people that you have talked with a lot, the threshold is actually lesser and working your way up to a simple “Hello” to someone you’ve just met and take it from there.
You know what to do, I’m sure of it!
Write a few lines about yourself that describe who you are but not everything and of course and don’t forget to upload a photo or maybe even a video where you introduce yourself.
Then start sending flirts to people that are your best matches!
However, just sitting in front of your computer screen won’t change your life, you need to get out on dates in the real world too!
You need to be open to all the possibilities that dating will bring you!
This is one of the best advice that anyone can give you too.
It might however also be one of the most general ones. What exactly does this mean?
Simple! It means that you should start flirting with anyone that has shown the slightest interest in you or maybe flirt with someone you think is out of your league.
The only thing that matters is if you can see yourself with that person and if you can think that the both of you have a future:
Can you imagine celebrating future holidays with this person?
Even, more importantly, is this question, though: Can you see the two of you starting a family together and raising kids together?
When you are seeing someone: Make sure that you don’t force or rush things. If you do, neither one of you will feel good about yourself.
Dating shouldn’t be rushed!
You shouldn’t rush things but rather take it a bit slow and keep the dates coming at a pace that both you and your date feel comfortable with.
Sometimes your dating might be going very fast and sometimes very slow.
Let the things be the way they are! As long as you are comfortable with the pace, don’t rush it!
When everything feels right for you, ask about how your date feels.
Either you might be looking for something completely different or maybe you will find that you share the same goals and then, you should continue dating.
When I write this, I don’t necessarily mean that both of you feel hopelessly in love with each other and can’t think to live a minute more without the other, it can actually work the other way.
A word of advice as well as of caution:
Dating won’t make you new friends!
If you decide to go your separate ways, so be it!
You won’t probably hear from that person ever again!
However: Sometimes it will evolve into a different kind of relationship and if it does you should be happy about it!
Dating is exciting!
It is OK to feel some tension and that you are a bit nervous when you’re dating and especially on first dates!
It is not bad to talk with your date about everything, this is actually what will build a relationship that lasts more than a few dates, maybe it will last for the rest of your life!
This is my blueprint! Now, you have spent a lot of time reading it, so let’s take some action and do it!
Implementing what you just have read is the key to success.
Here is a great place to start, or at least that’s what I have been told.
Next blog post
My next blog post will be published on Wednesday the 14th of October 2015.
It will be a review of a dating website.
See you then,
Rickard
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